They Kept the Lights Off

(Vol. 12 | Spring 2025 - Cowley Student)

"Where are Ilia and Colin?" I asked Mama.

Those two always came over for Friday night supper, ever since their mama, my Auntie Cecelia, got sick and died two years back. Ilia started bringing her own food, too! She got really good at making Auntie's cinnamon pie. Even if she put too much cinnamon in it. Colin said he liked the extra cinnamon, but he was just trying to make Ilia happy. No one would like a pie with that cinnamon.

We always ate the pie while Mama took Ilia to the other room to check her. Mama and Papa were both doctors and they took care of everyone in town. For some reason, they always checked on Ilia when she came over for Friday dinner. Colin always got so quiet when Mama took Ilia to the check up room. I asked him why Ilia was always getting checked on, but he wouldn’t answer me. No matter how many times I asked.

Mama hummed into her tomato soup. It made some of it splash off her spoon and back into her bowl. Which was really unfair because Mama always got onto me about playing with my food and making a mess. How come she got to?

"I don't know," Mama said. She was looking out the window. It was the window that pointed at the Hale house, Ilia and Colin's house. And that didn't make sense because it was too dark out to see it. I had checked earlier. The lights were off, which meant I couldn't see anything.

I turned to look out the window too. Maybe Colin had turned a light on while I was eating. But, nope! There was nothing. It was just dark.

I didn't know why Ilia and Colin liked playing outside when it got dark. It was way too scary. What if the lindworms got me? Everyone knew the monsters came out at dark. And worse, no one would be able to find me if it was dark out.

Maybe that was why they liked playing in the dark. They were always playing together, so they couldn't get lost like I could. Hmm. Maybe I'd play with them in the dark. Maybe.

I would have to be close to the house. Mama and Papa didn't want me playing outside in the dark.

"I'll go check on them," Papa said. He already ate all his food. We waited a bit, for Ilia and Colin, but when it got late Mama and Papa said I could go ahead and eat. Mama and Papa waited a little longer, but they started eating too.

Papa ate really quickly. One second the food was on his plate and then it was all gone. He ate like I did when I slept too late and had to eat breakfast before school. Papa always said I shouldn't eat so fast, he said I'd get sick. It hadn't happened yet, so Papa was wrong, besides he ate super fast too. I'd be sure to remind him of this later when he got onto me about it.

Mama ate real slow. She'd take a bite and then stare out the window for a long while. That, or she'd start twisting her napkin while giving Papa weird looks.

Mama spun her spoon in her soup. "It might be nothing."

Papa took her hand, the one that held her spoon, and leaned down to meet her face.

I stuck my tongue out. Gross. I went back to my bread. The sweetbread was the best part, but Mama and Papa made me wait for it. They didn't want me to eat it all before Ilia and Colin came over.

"I'll go check anyways. It'll give us some peace of mind. I can even bring some food over."

Mama nodded, but her eyes went back to the window. The lights were still off out there.

Mama and Papa worked together and made a little basket. I tried to take another piece of bread, but Mama slapped my hands. She wrapped them in the nice cloth and gave them to Papa.

"Why does Papa have to go?" I asked. He promised to read me a bedtime story tonight.

It was no fair. "They probably just forgot or something."

Papa put his big hand on my hair. Then he petted it and got it all messed up. I giggled as I ducked away. Mama sighed and I knew she was thinking about brushing my hair.

"Papa is checking because Ilia and Colin are all alone at their house and they don't have a phone to call for help if they need it." Papa explained.

"But they know where we live! They're here all the time and they're not afraid of the dark. Why don't they just come over if something's wrong?"

Mama put her hands on my shoulders. She got on the ground so she was looking right at me. "They could be hurt. They could be stuck. Or, it could be nothing. But your papa and I would feel a lot better if we knew they were okay. Okay?"

I tried to pull away, but Mama was strong.

"Okay?" She repeated.

I looked to Papa, but he shook his head at me. Jerk.

"Okay," I mumbled.

Papa gave me another pat on the head, "It'll be fine. I'll be back soon. Then I'll read you your bedtime story."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Papa left. He took the flashlight and went on over to the Hale house. It was kind of cool watching his light go further away.

Mama didn't even make me go take a bath. Not yet, anyway. Me and her both watched the window.

Papa must've made it to the house, because his light went out and then the house lights started coming on. One by one the house lit up.

After a while, Mama made me go take a bath. I told her I wanted to wait for Papa, but she said he would be wanting to read me my story. If I wasn't in bed when he got back, then he would be too tired to wait for me.

That got me in the tub.

When I came back out, in my comfy pajamas that Mama said looked ugly but she always fixed anyway, Papa still wasn't home.

Mama was pacing.

Supper had been cleaned and Mama was pacing in the dining room. She kept looking out the window. The lights were still on.

"When's Papa gonna be back?"

Mama jumped. Which was weird, and kind of annoying, because I wasn't even trying to be sneaky.

She looked at me like I was a lindworm and I was about to chop her up with my teeth.

Then, she took a big breath and looked back out the window.

"I don't know."

"But he said he'd read to me."

"I know."

"What's taking so long?"

"I don't know."

"Is he okay?"

"I don't know."

"Are Ilia and Colin okay?"

"I DON'T--" Mama took in another big breath. I didn't know why she got so mad. I was just asking. Papa said he'd be back soon and would read to me, but he wasn't back and then he'd be too tired to read. "Win, I think we'll have to do bedtime without Papa."

"What? No!"

"I know, sweetie. But your Papa is helping your cousins and it's getting late. Papa will read to you another time."

"But that's not fair!"

Mama got close to me again. She didn't look at me, or get on the ground. She just put her hands on my shoulders and kept staring out at the house. "Win, I know it isn't fair. I know it hurts that your papa isn't keeping his promise. But sometimes, that's how it goes. I'm sorry, but that's all we have."

My eyes burned. It was so unfair. Why did Ilia and Colin get to be with Papa? Just because their papa ran off forever ago didn't mean that they got to have mine.

"I'm sorry," Mama added. Like that helped any.

I pulled away from her. She let me. "Whatever."

I stomped away to my room. Stupid Mama. Stupid Papa. Stupid Ilia and Colin. They made a mess of everything.

It was even worse when I started crying. I couldn't help it. My eyes were heavy and hot and itchy and it was all so unfair.

I tucked myself into bed. My head was buried in my pillow and I ignored how Mama didn't even check on  me. I cried into the pillow and not Mama or Papa came to check on me.

They were so unfair.

I didn't realize I fell asleep until a giant crash woke me up.

I jumped out of bed and raced to the dining room. The house lights were still on. The front door was open, too.

Out on the porch were Mama and Papa. They were really close to each other and talking. Or, well, they were talking but their voices sounded so mean. They sounded like how Granny talked after she smoked her pipe. Kind of scratchy in a way that had me wanting to get them water. I couldn't hear what they were saying.

From the house lights, I could see something was on Papa. It looked kinda like mud but when I stepped closer, the porch let out a loud creak.

Mama and Papa stopped talking and turned to me.

The mud on Papa looked super red, actually. Then, it hit me. It wasn't mud on Papa.

"What happened?" I asked. "Where are Ilia and Colin?"

Mama and Papa didn't tell me.